Skip to content

Tag: tweets

5

Published on 5 Comments on Putting the twee in tweeting

So @RichardDawkins says Downs Syndrome babies *should* be aborted - it would be immoral *not* to.

Apparently autistic fetuses may be spared but not Downs babies - they have no "enhanced" features. @RichardDawkins

While he advocates for eugenics he wears a T-shirt calling religion a disease that needs to be cured. @RichardDawkins

Remember when @RichardDawkins made his excuses for not debating WLC? One of them was that WLC advocated for a 3000 year old 'genocide'

Dear @RichardDawkins, even if we played yr utilitarian game: A massive 99% of people with DS are happy w their lives LINK

Dawkins' and Downs Babies Storified: some tweets that caught my eye and a discussion I had with someone Dawkins RTd

Amazingly @RichardDawkins has united pro-lifers and pro-choicers - in outrage. He wants certain babies dead no matter what the woman chooses

Today we've seen the diametric opposition btw Jesus and Darwin. We believe in the survival of the feeblest thru the sacrifice of the Fittest

The world is a cruel place: it even makes you earn your right to be born. But Jesus offers life to the helpless - all for free.

Evangelicalism: Making it up as we go along since 1517

No more results days with God: "Christ is the end of the law so that there may be righteousness for all who believe." Rom10:4 #EnjoyYourDay

Avoiding congestion on the M25 is like trying to join a gigantic skipping rope made out of motorway and the rope is filled with traffic jams

Your Father has the far horizon. You have only today (Matt 6:34) #EnjoyYourDay

"I will give you over to bloodshed and it will pursue you. Since you did not hate bloodshed, bloodshed will pursue you." (Ezekiel 35:6)

<< What a profound verse on evil, judgement and wrath. God makes evil its own reward while wrath = the righteous response to it Jesus considered even *His* cross to be worth it for the glory to come (Heb12:3). Our little crosses are definitely worth it #EnjoyYourDay He’s the Future & Fulness of the world. He’s the Future & Fulness of God. If you have Jesus you have Everything. #EnjoyYourDay You're so much less worthy than you strive to seem. So much more loved than you'd ever scheme. #EnjoyYourDay

Ascendant chimps or fallen children? Our visions of the good life will unfold from there.

UR not defined by yr sins, yr strengths, yr suffering or yr circumstances. UR defined by yr Spotless Saviour #EnjoyYourDay

The gospel is like social media. If you really like, you share.

Does your Christianity feel like a heavy load? Jesus is not a burden to pull. He carries you. #Matthew11 #EnjoyYourDay

Dunno the details but ISTM this could be called "Bible Teacher Sacked For Teaching Bible The Way Bible Teaches Bible" LINK

He doesn't number yr sins (2Cor5) He numbers the hairs on yr head (Matt10). What counts with God? Not yr failures, YOU. #EnjoyYourDay

Whatever else you get or don't get in life: Christ is yours. "The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." Lam3:24 #EnjoyYourDay

Eternal life is not just a quantity, it's a quality. The life of eternity is Beloved & Spirit-filled. It’s all ours now 1Jn5 #EnjoyYourDay

"Preach the gospel, die, be remembered for a tweetable epitaph." #ModernMinistryAmbitions

The Father gave Jesus to us. Jesus gave Himself for us. The Spirit gives Jesus in us. #EnjoyYourDay

What's the point of this week? This year? 2Cor3-4: Whatever the setback/suffering we ARE being transformed into Christ's image #EnjoyYourDay

How have u become spiritually rich? Thru Christ's plenty? No, thru His poverty- He was poured out for you. 2Cor8:9 #EnjoyYourDay

"Thank you Preacher, that was dull, flat, obscure & moralistic." Of course they say "clear, faithful, helpful & challenging" but same thing

What? Redoing a Steven King horror as a Pixar adventure story? You couldn't make It Up.

The French are selfish lovers. Every kiss says "moi, moi"

Sopranos are selfish too. It's all 'me me me me'.

Apple have the most selfish sailors' app: the iAyeAye

Wanna know a selfish pasttime? Battleship spotting... Just naval gazing

My father quit his job cleaning Tube tracks after they asked him to double as a late-night ghost-buster. He doesn’t fluffer ghouls sadly

Ironically, unless you’ve already seen it they won’t let you catch 22 Jump Street

– “Were there many factors that inspired such a speedy overture?”
– “Only time” (Will Tell)

Guns don't kill people. 9 year old girls k... No wait, it's totally guns.

Just entered a yodelling competition. I'm in with a shout

What is ‘vicarious research’? Asking for a friend.

- “All I wanted was some cough mixture but the pharmacist just went on and on”
- “Expectorant?”
- “No I was shocked”

“YOU DON’T KNOW COS YOU WEREN’T THERE!” #Namsplaining

Extreme spiritualists need to find a happy medium

I once owned a cheese-eating insect. Briefly

My dad keeps remarrying faster than my mum. Always one step ahead.

Published on Leave a comment on Tweety Pies

We don't push faith out of ourselves by our will. Christ pulls faith out of us by His gospel.

Yr sins have been forgiven 4 Christ's sake, u know the Father, u've overcome the evil1, ur strong&God's Word lives in u 1John2 #EnjoyYourDay

Great British Bake Off teaches us about order in the kitchen: Every Mel needs a Sous. Complements to the chef

Phwoar, binary code... that's a noughty one.

Ingratitude goeth before pride.

Sadly, your average Australian church-goer believes in moralistic, therapeutic, G'deism.

Dont know the way forward? "Ask God who gives wisdom generously 2 all without finding fault & it will be given 2u" James1:6 #EnjoyYourDay..

Remaining tight lipped is the only way to blow your own trumpet <-- the horns of a dilemma Our fave Luke15 image of salvation is the prodigal choosing repentance. The early church's fave was the Shepherd grabbing the lost sheep On results day, remember your Father has your future, the Son is your standing and the Spirit is your comforter. #EnjoyYourDay Today I've read that Mark Driscoll's a "complimentarian" and the CofE's an "Angelican" church: some typos to live up to. One day you will rest from your labours (Rev 14:13). Till then you're God's gift to the world. #EnjoyYourDay

We haven't merely singlified sex, we've Zwinglified it.

Muggier than an Interpol suspect list.
Muggier than a Starbucks dishwasher.
Muggier than a Bogota back-street.

Rainier than a Prince of Monaco.

You don’t like flat bread? More’s the pitta.

You can't use strips of The Times as a sweat band. Use News You'll Ooze

Just realised I was using the wrong paper. It should be The Absorber

As a student: Ready Salted, Salt&Vinegar, Cheese&Onion and Prawn Cocktail were the flavours of my bath towel as term progressed.

When it got to Smoky Bacon I'd boil it up with some economy rice and a half litre of Carlsberg.

Just not sure which "check a trade" site I can trust :-/

It was always going to be a career of two halves. Sting operations won't work if they know you from the Police

I'll bet the Spanish are always overwhelmed by their todo lists :-/

Remorse code: for when your hopes are dashed

Right now you’re ambivalent about artificial intelligence. One day it’ll be make your mind up time

Jesus is not merely your ransom, He's your righteousness. You're not merely tolerated by God, you're treasured. #EnjoyYourDay

Luther: "God receives none but those who are forsaken, restores health to none but those who are sick, gives sight to none but the blind...

...He restores life to none but the dead… has mercy on none but the wretched & gives grace to none but those in disgrace"

The enemy of your soul will soon be destroyed by the breath of Christ's mouth and the splendour of His coming. 2Thes2 #EnjoyYourDay

Evangelism is not really "Here's the deal". It's "Here's the story."

Best example of our blind faith in technology, no matter the evidence: long range weather forecasts.

No matter how many times it's proved itself wrong, still: "Apparently next month will contain the breeziest Tuesdays on record."

A Member of the Human Race is a Member of the Trinity. And you're a Member of Him! #EnjoyYourDay

#ClichedBible “Let’s call it a day” (Hebrews 4:7)

#ClichedBible “Shut up and kiss me” (Psalm 2)

#ClichedBible “I was born reddy” (Esau; Gen 25:25)

#ClichedBible “Totes Amaze Bowls” (Rev16) and “Dead Enosh” (Gen5:11)

#ClichedBible "That's how I roll." (Ezekiel 1:19)

#ClichedBible "You had me at hell" (Revelation 20:16)

#ClichedBible “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” (1Thes4:13)

#ClichedBible “Aw, hell no” (Matt16:20)

#ClichedBible “It’s all good” (Gen1:31). “It’s all goo’d” (Lev13:10)

If u identify 'real life' with sexual self expression, u condemn & frustrate far more people than the Bible ever has LINK

Our last sighting of Jesus: As He ascended He was blessing His people. (Lk24:51). He hasn't stopped since (Eph1:3). #EnjoyYourDay

Just as Buddhist dietary requirements are not carni-phobic so the Christian sex ethic is not homophobic LINK

The Trinity according to 2Cor1:3: Our Father, Compassion made flesh & Comfort personified. This is our God #EnjoyYourDay

Some say the Bayeux tapestry is more of an embroidery but that's just knit picking

I know, I know... #knitwit

Some call me lazy. Let them.

My nephew's new Playstation game is a bit worrying. He's building a master race on MeinKraft :-/

All day I’ve been trying to find an anagram for a pig hut video. I had to give up.

Tried to find an anagram of ‘how I use a hot gut slime encrusted within a fat idiot’. In the end I thought it was a ridiculous waste of time

TRUE FACT: A soprano’s top B-flat can cause heart arrhythmia. Worse things happen at C.

When I kiss you, I'm thinking of me: moi moi moi.

3

Published on 3 Comments on Tweet Silos

At Eastbourne’s Tourist Board meeting this morning: “You fools, I said PEERLESS. I want our seafront to be PEERLESS.”

If you want to know why Jesus died on the cross I have two words for you

Thru wilderness trials the Father promises: "My Presence (Christ!) will go with you and I will give you rest." Ex33 #EnjoyYourDay

Imagine "Best in Show" but with children for poodles. #ChildGenius

The Son of David has a great "largeness of heart" (1 Kings 4:29). There's plenty of room for you. #EnjoyYourDay

It's muggy out. I've been robbed twice already

In saying God is THREE "Persons" united in love, how do we define "Person"? How about "An “I” finding their identity in another." That work?

0K magazine leaves me absolutely cold. #1PUN

They don’t like you shrinking the Pyramid of Cheops. Small wonder.

If you like Pop, you’ll LOVE Bublé Rap

Eph 1:18-23 – The power of His resurrection is in you, the purpose of His resurrection is for you #EnjoyYourDay

As a rule, offers of tea to workmen exist in an inverse relationship to DIY competence. I've offered our guy 3 cups already.

"Yeah, right, aha, MDF, sure, ok. But when you say 'Just tea, just a normal cup of tea,' is English Breakfast ok?"

My modelling career really took off with Airfix

I see Burberry’s going up-market again. Sorting out the tweed from the chav.

Veni Vidi Vici sounds best in Latin. Unless you’ve just won at conkers

"Heaven is a place on earth with You." Good eschatology makes good pop songs

"Good reasoning" is like "Good living" - it's good! But it doesn't lead to the gospel, it is established by the gospel.

Probably my favourite fish opera is the one with “O For Tuna”: Carmena Piranha #1PUN

“Whoops!” “Never thought of that!” “My hands are tied” “It’s beyond fixing” - phrases our Father never says #EnjoyYourDay

"I'm all peopled out" #GodNeverSays

Ah, the Aztec priest, there’s a man after my own heart #1PUN

God’s love, which is completely yours in Jesus, is Forever, Fatherly and Forgiving: Psalm 103 #EnjoyYourDay

Intolerance to Pharisaism is a sign of Pharisaism. No-one hates Pharisees as much as Pharisees.

Your selfies are God's photobombs. (Genesis 1:26)

I'm amillennial. I just don't believe in young people.

Poor? Brokenhearted? Mourning? Bound? Christ is good news, comfort, gladness, freedom, a robe of praise & righteousness #Is61 #EnjoyYourDay

My general knowledge is appalling. My sergeant knowledge is little better. I'm a rank amateur :-/

"Dear God, once again, I'm *really* sorry for that sin?" "What sin?" (Hebrews 10:17) #EnjoyYourDay

This week my feed included #WeAreN alongside views like "Calvinism IS Christianity". Here's hoping the former influences views on the latter

We spend our lives trying to become wise, righteous, special, free. We have it all in Jesus: 1Cor1:30 #EnjoyYourDay

Your handsome, righteous Warrior King is God from God. He’s soaked with the Spirit of Joy and He LOVES His bride: Psalm 45#EnjoyYourDay

A life of faith, hope and love isn't the price of salvation, it's the prize: yours for free in Jesus (Col 1:3-6) #EnjoyYourDay

That’s cheap! Apparently U2′s frontman is 8ono #1PUN

Let's agree: good science doesn't belong to atheists & good morality doesn't belong to Christians. Now let's examine the foundations 4 both

"Sorry, snowed under" "I'm not a miracle worker" "I wish u hadn't told me that": Things u won't hear from Jesus. #TalkToHim #EnjoyYourDay

Preacher, your job is not to preach evangelical distinctives. Your job is to preach the evangel.

I keep getting passed over for the episcopacy. Must be some kind of oversight

Just imagine it: the Father selecting a sacrificial Lamb "for your sake" - His precious, eternal, spotless Son. 1Peter1:17-20 #EnjoyYourDay

Sore, Snake-bitten, Sullen? The Son of Man was lifted up for you. Look and live. John3:14f #EnjoyYourDay

"I've died and gone to heaven" - words describing a euphoric experience. Words describing every Christian. Col3:3 #EnjoyYourDay

Oh no, I've accidentally got 3 "P"s for my sermon tomorrow. Now I'll have to spend Saturday afternoon looking for chinos and a blue shirt :(

I'll probably cut one point for the podcast. Then it'll be 2 Ps in iPod

Well it is a powerful structure. To all naysayers let me encourage you: Give Ps a chance

Your prejudice against games of chance is just thinly veil bingotry

You may rail against fan friendly pop groups but that's just fighting the band that heeds you

My script for the 9th X-Men prequel has just been rejected. Feel like it's a bad omen.

In Gen22, Abraham's faith is not fatalistic resignation to the will of God. It is gospel hope in the resurrection of the Son (Heb11:17-19)

Christ says "I have surely seen yr affliction & have heard yr cry. I know yr sufferings & have come down to deliver u." Ex3 #EnjoyYourDay

Instinctively we think of creation as darkness -> light. Wouldn't it be more biblical to say light -> darkness -> light? 1John1:5; Gen1:2

Monday morning is Not 'same old, same old' - the old is gone, today is brand spanking new: Lam 3:23. #EnjoyYourDay

Published on Leave a comment on Tweet-os: Fully of Tweety Goodness

Feeling lonely and afflicted? The LORD Jesus guards u, rescues u, frees u, confides in u & forgives all your sins. #Psalm25 #EnjoyYourDay

I prefer burial to cremation but I wouldn't go to the stake over it.

That was genuinely my pastoral advice to an older saint today. Just so you know who you can trust with your thorny moral dilemmas.

He's King on high, the Seed to come, 'God with u', yr Sanctuary, heaven's gift, yr Counsellor, God, Father & Prince Isaiah6-9 #EnjoyYourDay

He's plunged down into our death & burst through into His life. His very being is an offer: to take our death & give His life. #EnjoyYourDay

Curious. It seems that the less I tweet the less people accidentally unfollow me.

3 pts from Keller's latest sermon: Yr bad things are being worked for good, Yr good things can never be taken away, the best is yet to come

"I'm a kiddy doctor but you can call me Pediatric Ian"

God gives us Everything (His Son) and then gives us the Appreciation of Everything (His Spirit) 1Cor2:12. All for free. #EnjoyYourDay

The exclusivity of Christ is such good news. There is no unChristlikeness in God whatsoever. God is none other than who we see in *Jesus*

Christians LOVE God's #oneness. We worship someone called "the One and Only" And He's "one" with "the only true God" (Jn1:18;10:30;17:3)

Cardinal Newman: John Henry's altar ego

'Everything that can be shaken will be removed' but 'underneath are the everlasting arms.' #Perspective #EnjoyYourDay

If the Bible is united by a *plan* of salvation, the gospel becomes "Get with the programme." If it's a Person, the gospel is "Get Him."

Just heard about a strict baptist church with a single member. That's a bad reading of John 17:22.

Your Mediator lays one hand on you, one hand on God and He's never letting go. #Job9 #EnjoyYourDay

Petrine Succession: Robing Peter to Dismay Paul

We'll enter Zion with singing; everlasting joy our crown. Gladness & joy will overtake us & sorrow & sighing will flee away. Is51 #EnjoyYourDay

Emma says she understands 'mansplaining' but I fear I'll have to go over it one more time

Why do paedo-baptists bury & raise infants in baptism? Same reason evangelists seek to kill & make alive in preaching: that's what the Word does

 

John Newton's last words on earth: “I am still in the land of the dying; I shall be in the land of the living soon."

For the Christian, yesterday's forgiven, tomorrow's forbidden, today is given. #EnjoyYourDay

Atheists going 'one god further' are like anarchists thinking they've avoided all political ideology

Christians don't hedge their bets. It's Jesus or bust.

#GoodFriday Christ is all in.
#EasterSunday The Father raises.
#Pentecost The Spirit calls.

Cos CH CH could be completed CH3CH2OH, the chemical symbol for alcohol! In a Baptist church of all places! Huh? Yeah? I know!

God > Devil ; Christ > Adam ; Spirit > Flesh ; Church > World ; Grace > Sin ; New Creation > Old Creation ; Glory > Suffering. #EnjoyYourDay

In Isaiah, 4 times we are 'the work of God's hands'. Twice Isaiah /describes/ God's hands: They are 'held out to us' & 'cut'. #EnjoyYourDay

Remember how every illustration from TheMatrix was "Red Pill/Blue Pill"? Staggering!
- Incarnation? Pass.
- Exercising Your Free Will? Bingo

"Sex is the only mysticism offered by materialism." Malcolm Muggeridge

Think of Job's suffering. Now think of ch42 where the LORD redeems it *all*. "He is full of compassion & mercy." James5:11 #EnjoyYourDay

As Daniel Rowlands watched his congregation walking to church: "Here they come, bringing heaven with them."

Just caught 5mins of awful #IWannaMarryHarry Reminds me of much dating in church circles: the odds in *his* favour so he toys with the girls

He's God's Son, the Spirit's Anointed and a Man for all men: Jesus, the Mediator, holds *everything* together. 1Tim2:5-6 #EnjoyYourDay..

"Bearing with one another" isn't our biggest problem in the West. Our big problem is getting close enough to Have to bear with one another.

Jesus is your Brother. He is not ashamed of you. Heb 2:11 #EnjoyYourDay

If ur in on Jesus, ur in on Everything. 'The Father himself loves u b/c u've loved me & believe that I came from God.' Jn16 #EnjoyYourDay

What is "vicarious research"? Asking for a friend

Fun Game! Quick as you can, invent a term that combines two other words. I call it sportmanteau

For those who don't know, a portmanteau is a word for a dock-worker's digit. #reportmanteau

How's your relationship with God? As good as your Priest's - Heb 5:1-9 #EnjoyYourDay

My similes are, like, terrible. But my metaphors have legs.

Thru wilderness trials the Father promises: "My Presence (Christ!) will go with you and I will give you rest." Ex33 #EnjoyYourDay.

Published on Leave a comment on Due To Popular Demand: Tweets!

Why am I married? Not because I’m inclined to love the institution but because I met someone. Why am I a Christian? Same answer.

Disgusted to read the behaviour of men on @EverydaySexism feed. True sexual liberation requires sexual self control - esp the men.

Your success at ‘sin management’ does not define you. Christ does: “Holy”, “Without Blemish”, “Free From Accusation” Col1:22 #EnjoyYourDay.

Yesss! "Left Behind Movie" has just added me on Google+.
#eRaptured #CaughtUpInTheCloud

Sins cleansed, darkness conquered, creation liberated, bodies raised, tears wiped away and Jesus. Face to face, Forever. #EnjoyYourDay

If it's anarthrous shouldn't it lose the "an"? But if 'arthrous' shouldn't it be thearthrous? Guess that's why they call em Grammar Nasties

I'm a slave of the Liberator. There's freedom nowhere else.

New word for ontological naturalism: Solidsism. Like solipsism it's impossible to argue against once you grant the premises. #Solidsism

In the end, arguments against both solipsism and solidsism are immaterial. But to the solidsist, that should be a clue.

Oh good. If Brazil lose I hear the authorities will calm the crowds by reading to them all about their famous Rio Tact. #Riotact

#Irenaeus in a word? Handy

At the British Museum see Babylonians, Persians, Greeks&Romans. At yr local church join the Son of Man’s eternal kingdom #Dan7 #EnjoyYourDay

 

In marriage - focus on your sin and their potential, not the other way around.

Whatever needs forgiving is forgiven. Whatever needs fixing will be fixed. Whatever needs facing, Christ faces with us. #EnjoyYourDay

Good news, you don’t need to “find your identity in Jesus”! Christ IS your life. #Col3 #EnjoyYourDay

It’s not just your sins – *you* have been transferred to Christ. Now you inhabit the realm of the Beloved Son. Col1:13f #EnjoyYourDay

Words don't merely map the world, they make it and move it.

When Jesus came to the Jordan He didn’t Judge the failures, He joined them: entering our filth to bring us 2 His Family #Matt3 #EnjoyYourDay

- What do we want?
- More unity!
- On whose terms do we want it?
- Ours!

 

Are you a Christian? Jesus is yours and you are His. Song of Songs 6:3 #EnjoyYourDay

I just typed "Why does Google homepage say it's 2013?" into the Google homepage. I got an error message and now my computer's frozen.

I'm expecting GoogleTroopers to knock at my door any minute and arrest me for gross insubordination.

I'd like to take this opportunity to restate my appreciation for, and allegiance to, our Google Overlords. Long to reign over us.

PROPHECY: Manpering will become a thing (ie Man-Pampering). This will be huge. You heard it here first.

Vindicated! “Manpering” exists already. Buoyed by my prophetic success I now predict the rise of microblogging and reflexive photography

So Germany looking to swiftly knock out France before turning their attention to world domination. #DontMentionTheWorldCup

Neymar no more :(

Weeping then joy, anger then favour, mourning then dancing, the pit then the heights Ps30 One morning soon will be The Morning #EnjoyYourDay

If a scientist explained their data with recourse to the miraculous: 50 others would, understandably, set about finding a better explanation >

< But all science rests on a miracle: the comprehensibility of the cosmos. It's the *Christian* who steps forward to explain the miracle

Gal2:20 Your "I" (active subject) has been crucified & no longer lives. Your "me" (passive object) is loved and laid hold of. #EnjoyYourDay

According to the sermon on the mount, our Father in heaven: shines, sees x2, knows x2, forgives, feeds, clothes, gives.

Let's hope the Commonwealth Games can lift us from this sporting yawn-fest. Am I right?

“The sin beneath all our sins is 2trust the serpent's lie that we cannot trust the love&grace of Christ&must take matters in2 our own hands” (Luther)

#5LeviticalOfferings: Old life condemned, New offered to God, Guilt cleansed, Recompense made, Peace secured. #ChristHasDoneIt #EnjoyYourDay

"To die" is not a valid bucket list entry. Unless you're Jesus. Then it's item number one.

Peter took Jesus aside: "It's just that, as bucket lists go, "Dying" feels a bit brief. And maybe lacking in ambition?" (Mark8:32 amplified)

Also sad to be missing #EMA2014 - but #EMO2014 would be interesting too. You could sing #EMOhymns like And can it bleed, Meekness and Misery

Other #EMOhymns: Here is blood vast as the ocean, Mourning has broken #EMO2014 #EMA2014

#EMOhymns Sell out my soul, Cries triumphant ever raining, #EMO2014 #EMA2014

#EMOhymns When tears like a river (It is hell), My hope is built on nothing. #EMO2014 #EMA2014

By @rockbadger: Praise Goth from whom all bleedings flow #EMO2014

By @SamAllberry: Frown Him With Many Frowns, Lord For The Tears, There Is A Fountain Filled With Blood

By @celticmoose: O for a thousand tongue piercings to sing

By @CamPotts1: I cry alone, no hope is found.

"Jesus the Name high over all, in hell or earth or sky. Angels and men before it fall, and devils fear and fly." #EnjoyYourDay

God's YES resounds from heaven at Christ. His AMEN booms back on our behalf&the Spirit seals us into the circle of trust 2Cor1 #EnjoyYourDay

The big news here in Ireland: Garth Brooks has cancelled his Dublin gigs. Fans can get their money back. Their self-respect remains forfeit

Just learnt that the two-day wedding celebration I'm at has used 66 bottles of wine. Just 10% of the John 2 quantity!

As Word of God Jesus doesn't just keep God's promises, He *is* God's promise to you, earthed forever into your humanity. #EnjoyYourDay

When life feels beyond u remember it always is. "But this happened that we might not rely on self but God who raises the dead" #EnjoyYourDay

Since Adam, sinners have been desperate to look righteous. With Jesus you have the Righteous One happy to be numbered with transgressors

It always astonishes me how content Jesus is with people thinking He's a sinner. I *am* one & I'm mortified to be outted

 

Published on Leave a comment on Some Tweets

 

God works triumph thru deicide. The disasters of today do not catch Him off guard or knock Him off course. Crisis is His MO #EnjoyYourDay

When reading certain theological debates I'm reminded of the phrase: "falling off either side of the wrong horse."

Present suffering is to future glory as birth-pains are to the joy of new life. Horrifically painful. Totally worth it. #EnjoyYourDay

Jesus was never anti-anyone. So long as they weren't pro-themselves.

The whole world is invited to Jesus. Everyone can come as they are. No-one can stay as they are.

You do Not have to be straight to come to Christ. You Do have to be a sinner.

Misapplication of union with Christ #47: "You know I see a lot of myself in Jesus..."

To be clear: we should see *all* of ourselves in Jesus by grace. (Not *some* of ourselves in Jesus by works)

 

Science alone can never give us "science alone." If u want "science alone" u'll have 2 argue philosophically. Then it's not "science alone"

4those sitting final exams 2day someone will say 'Pens down' then the hols. 4 the Xian it's 'schools out 4ever' Gal3:24 #EnjoyYourDay

People are tremendously disappointing - none more so than me

Through His life, death & resurrection, Christ has taken the wheel of this world, turned on the sat nav & pressed “Home” #EnjoyYourDay

- Do u see yourself in Psalm 1's picture of manhood?
- Ha. Ish.
- Only "ish"?
- No. Not "ish". "Ha*Ish". Fully in Him.
"Blessed is The Man"

- Do you see yourself in the blessings of Psalm 1?
- Moralistic reading: Ha! Ish.
- Christian reading: Ha*Ish!

Yeah I'm basically cornering the "tortuous Hebrew puns about Christ in the OT" market. It's wide open baby

Jesus sailed thru a hurricane to get to Legion (Mark5). He was hurled into the Abyss to rescue u. Same predicament, same love. #EnjoyYourDay

Sometimes in suffering we need to understand. Sometimes we need to know that Jesus understands. We're part Martha, part Mary #John11

"We want to see Jesus lifted high" sing the Father and Spirit. We can join in too if we like.

God does not overpower our narcissism with an even greater self-centredness. He overwhelms our egotism in a torrent of self-giving.

In the face of suffering we need to be able to Hate and to Hope - to Stand Against suffering as an Enemy and to Look Forward to its End

Christ is yr clothing (baptism), yr food & yr drink (communion). And He’s given while ur naked, famished & guilty as hell #EnjoyYourDay

I thought I had the right angle on my triangle pun. Those opposed called it hypertenuous :(

Living in Eastbourne gives you regular reminders that growing old gracefully is not automatic.

We always think we need help. What we need even more is helplessness.

Adam and Eve made fig-leaf coverings. Their children have followed suit.

That salvation is too big for you, Jesus says ‘Let me take it’. #EnjoyYourDay

That worry is too big for you, the Father says ‘Let me take it’. #EnjoyYourDay

That job is too big for you, the Spirit says ‘Let me take it.’ #EnjoyYourDay

Is anyone else worried that Chewy Luis' victims will themselves become biters? #WorldCupZ

Dear Struggling Christian, you are not in between lapses. You are in Christ. (Col 1:13-14)

Often my work is "slapdash" because always my work is "slack... dash"

B©P - all rites reserved

 

Published on Leave a comment on Happy Friday

Some home groan grown humour
(more here)

Ah, the Aztec priest, there’s a man after my own heart

"Yeah, madness. It's a called a Sob-aphone. A SOBAPHONE for crying out loud."

I'm afraid I can't weep in public. It's a crying shame.

Captain Sacrifabulous. (My altar ego)

Lawyers! Remember the Queen of all 1D fans can assist your case. That’s right, Miss Direction helps con jurors.

My friend won’t lend me his Joseph Heller novel till I’ve read it!

Ironically, unless you've already seen it you can't catch 22 Jump Street.

My seive’s better than yours. #HolierThanThou

Contradictory Celebs: Matt Gloss, Time Waits, Demi More, Bleak Lively #contradictorycelebs

What should I have with my bacon sandwich: Ketchup or HP? #crowdsaucing

What’s your favourite method of resolving an argument? Hit me

Idea for website – http://unknow-unfollowers.com Once u’ve discovered who’s unfollowed u, the site wipes yr memory & delivers a mild electric shock

I’ve finally ditched my Blackberry. Apple’s my new jam.

Don’t tell me I MUST visit the Bayeux tapestry. I hate quilt trips

Be aware. My imaginary teddy will mentally undress you.
IOW: Bear in mind my bear in mind will bare in mind.

#FilmPrequels Penultimate Tango in Paris,
Ar-GetReadyGetSet,
Soon-to-Be-Hur,
Old Men Ask For Country But Don’t Say Please

#FilmPrequels Scrooging, Scrooging

Apparently no roads lead from Rome. There’s no two-ways about It.

The temple drummer refused to accompany the service but I had him bang to rites.

Phwoar, that binary code! That’s a noughty one

I’ve invented an abbreviated form of morse code – for when you just want to dash something off.

For linguists, translating the Bible for the blind is the Holy Braille.

The gift of tongues: an acquired taste

My favourite fish opera is the one with “O For Tuna”: Carmena Piranha

Today you’re probably ambivalent about artificial intelligence, but one day it’ll be make your mind up time.

Its name is its unofficial motto: B right on

Just started a job-share as a GP. Everyone thinks it’s comedic

True story from 18 yrs ago:
Her: Hi, I’m Haydee
Me: If there were 2 of u it’d be hell! :)
Her: Why?!
Me: Well, cos, Hades
Her: What’s Hades?

<< I guess you could say, the young me was a real hell-raiser

#RichardDawkinsChatUpLines There’s your genome with all those double-helix curves and here’s me with no brakes.

#RichardDawkinsChatUpLines Get your coat love, our genes have pooled.

#RichardDawkinsChatUpLines Get outta my memes and into my life

#RichardDawkinsChatUpLines Your daddy must have been a thief? Why? Selfish genes.

#RichardDawkinsChatUpLines Girl, when billions of years of death, pain and mindless struggle made you, they were showing off.

‘Chance would be a fine thing’ – Heisenberg.
‘Chants’ll be a fine thing’ – Pope Gregory.
‘Chancel be a fine thing’ – Christopher Wren

- Sometimes hindsight is 0-0
- Why?
- No eyed dear

- Sometimes hindsight is O-O
- Why?
- Cos she’s doe-eyed

When baking, every Mel needs a Sous. Complements to the chef.

Do not forget to wrestle strangers for by so doing some have wrestled angels unawares. #ScriptureInterpretsScripture

Of course He’s the shy member of the Trinity – He’s the original Ghost writer. (2 Peter 1:21)

Probably the most driven animal was the Dodo

In the style of Guy Ritchie I’m producing a tacky biopic of Howard Stern’s music career: a mocklockstockshockjockschlockrockdoc

Forgot to get wrapping paper 4 Emma’s bday presents. Thankfully we have plenty of ‘decorated pine tree’ paper with added ‘birthday reindeer’

I bet the Spanish are constantly overwhelmed by their todo lists :-/

Stoics want to correct my spelling. They have no affect.

- Your pedantry is mute.
- That makes no sense, it’s moo…
- I said MUTE

It’s a shame but, since there are only 22 letters in Hebrew, alphabetizing the pauses in the Psalms will only get you so far. Selah V :(

Clouds to the left of me, joking to the right. #holySaturday

But Peter Pan gags DO get old. They DO

- Everything’s Greekified these days.
- You mean ‘Hellenized’?
- See?!

Subway have a new secret filling – they’re keeping it under wraps

Just entered a yodelling competition. I’m in with a shout

I know it’s odd to carry my teddy around but bear with me.

Chief bugbear? Probably the Panda Maggot. No, wait, the Grizzly Weevil. Hang on: The PolarPillar. Yeah, PolarPillar.

Why did Jesus get a drink at Jacob’s Well? Cos the Harvester was plenty full.
#PubThemedJohn4Lolz #epic

I used to have an NY State of Mind. I’m OK now

You’re so ad hominem I call you the Ad Hominid #checkmate

You know who else loved to cite Godwin’s law? The Nazis #checkmate

I’m afraid your argumentum verbosium reveals a superfluum latine #checkmate

Why do sneezers get all the blessings? I’m gonna bless coughs & hiccups too. Burpers get an ironic blessing #HeapingCoals #IronicNotAaronic

“Yeah sure, I’m like totally blessing you or whatever.” — The Ironic Priesthood

- “Guevara was easy. Name another one.”
- “Given”
- “Ah, Two Che”

I’ve come up with a thousand separate arguments against scholasticism. They’re a bit a-Thomistic

Colonel Sanders: Chick magnate

Some put their bios in the third person.
Mine’s in the Second Person (Col. 3:3-4)

Genesis: Snakes and Ladders
Psalms: Hide and Seek
#BibleGames

Galatians: Noughts and Crosses
1Peter: Simon Says
#BibleGames

Joshua: Conkers
Romans: More than Conkers
#BibleGames

Leviticus: Keep-Away-Pick-Up-Sticks combo
#BibleGames

Leviticus: Pass the Pigs
Jonah: Keep Away
#BibleGames

I lead. Others unfollow

Joel: Cricket(s)
Revelation 8: Hurling
#BibleGames

1 Corinthians 1: Crosswords
Job 38-41: Hungry, Hungry Hippos**
#BibleGames
**May be an elephant or water buffalo. Scholars disagree

I consider my next three tweets as an artistic whole. A twiptych if you will…
1. She said she half-inched my rhyming dictionary. No idea what she meant…
2. Next she stole my thesaurus. There are no words…
3. Turns out she works for the OED. Explains a lot.

 

Published on Leave a comment on Some Tweets – Mainly Tchaff

I consider my next three tweets as an artistic whole. A twiptych if you will...

1. She said she half-inched my rhyming dictionary. No idea what she meant...

2. Next she stole my thesaurus. There are no words...

3. Turns out she works for the OED. Explains a lot.

 

Who wants to play #FinishThePun? It's like a cryptic crossword, only full of lolz and roflz. Round One...

#FinishThePun It's amazing to me how some people actually enjoy making spreadsheets of their favourite flavours...

@LauraMason82: I guess there's no accounting for taste

#FinishThePun #RoundTwo Apparently a French doctor can be laid low by a single sweetener...

@rockbadger: just a spoonful of sugar makes the médecin go down”

Tricky one 4 our final round #FinishThePun When making egg-based meals u must disregard the examples given 2u by the cookbooks. After all...

@fearners: to make an omelette you've got to break some e.g.s

 

God worked a universe out of nothing, He reworked it out of sin, death and curse. I reckon He can do something with you. #EnjoyYourDay

A life of cross-shaped service is not the price of eternal life - it is the nature of it.

Either God loves you to death or Jesus has been sending crazy mixed messages. #EnjoyYourDay

4 Cs to look out for in marriage counselling. Cruelty and cowardice (esp in men). Contempt and control (esp in women).

<< Cowardice and contempt are a particularly brutal and self-perpetuating combination.

A neat trick for gauging when to travel on the M25:
- Subtract the junction ur entering from 25.
- Convert to 24hour time.
- Wrong

In the flesh we are but dust and ashes. By the Spirit-filled King we are crowned with beauty and the oil of gladness (Is61) #EnjoyYourDay

A minister on holidays prays: "Plz take care of my flock while I'm away." The Lord replies "Who do u think takes care of it while ur there?"

Today, remember you are loved at your very worst, by the very Best. Rom 5:8 #EnjoyYourDay

In Num6 the single name of the LORD is a triple movement: 1) A Fountain of Blessing 2) Radiant Grac; 3) Personal Peace #TrinitAaronBlessing

The Bible is not God's word simply b/c certain verses claim it 2b so. That wd be a stupid circularity. It's God's word b/c in it God speaks

Life is not a race against the clock. Jesus is Resurrection. Time is not ‘running out’ – not ultimately. Jn11 #EnjoyYourDay

God's being: Life poured out and received again >>
The gospel: Cross and Resurrection >>
The world: Suffering and Glory.

We are SEATED with Christ, Eph1-3; WALK by Christ, Eph4-5 & STAND in Christ, Eph6. (Nee) We Never climb. #OnTopOfTheWorld #EnjoyYourDay

Yowsers. On this page (http://ow.ly/y6fxs ) u can listen 2 me on evangelism. Or 2 Don Carson or Dick Lucas. You Decide!

It’s a good thing to have a problem with evil. Evil is evil. The real problem would be not having a problem.

Hell is not at odds with a God of love. We are. Hence hell.

 

 

 

1

Published on 1 Comment on Tweet-os – Now With Added Vitamin Twee

God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. 1John5:11 #EnjoyYourDay

Philippians 4:6 “@trouteyes: If you're anxious and you know it, clasp your hands.”

Groaning under the weight of your “sacrifices” 4 the gospel? Don’t think sacrifice, think sound investment (Mark 10:29-30) #EnjoyYourDay

Feel like many critiques of law/gospel preaching are really rejections of gospel/gospel preaching. At which point we can all agree

‘In the shadow of your wings I take refuge til the storm has passed.’ (Ps57) The storm will pass and the refuge is secure. #EnjoyYourDay

#TheGospel: Not diplomatic immunity for a foreign land. Rescue /from/ a dark kingdom into a realm iridescent with the Father's love Col1:13f

Two lines to use in evangelism: "That's why I'm not an atheist..." and "That's why I'm not a Muslim..."

<< When we differentiate the gospel from both atheism *and* Christless theism, the surprising glory of Jesus will shine

UR: a member of Christ; 1spirit w Him; purchased by His blood; sharing in His resurrection; a temple of His Holy Spirit #1Cor6 #EnjoyYourDay

#aParable
- I have the best IT guy. I trust him to fix *any* problem
- I wish I had your faith
- U don't need my faith, u need my guy

MT “@UCBMedia: If u died&yr body exhumed wd they find God's name written on yr heart?” Nope, only worms. But my name is written on HIS heart

Your connection with God is Not up to yr prayers or yr piety. It’s up to yr Priest. And He ever lives to intercede 4u #EnjoyYourDay

“As I move thru our passage I have 4 thoughts to share.” I’d skip this sermon but my playlist is full of the like. Where are the preachers?

The chief description of preaching in the NT is 'heralding' (kerusso). Would that be the chief descriptor of our preaching?

Preaching is Hollaring. Not Dollaring, Collaring, Drole-aring or Scholar-ing #Hollaring

The God of 'God is love' is not the Three but the Father. The love of 'God is love' is not expressed in a heavenly group hug but on a cross

What kind of God is He? The kind that puts everything on hold because a woman in need tugs at His shirt. #Jesus #Mark5 #EnjoyYourDay

And the next "No kids eh? ENJOY IT!" comment will receive a two hour Bible study on childlessness. #TryMe

God is pulling all things through the cross and out the empty tomb #EnjoyYourDay

You're on trial for killing the Judge's son. He forgives you and offers his daughter's hand in marriage. #Pentecost #Acts2

Ironically, unless you've already seen it they won't let you catch 22 Jump Street

Hurt people hurt people. And loved people love people.

Receive each word ‘our Light & Momentary Troubles Are Achieving For Us an Eternal Weight of Glory that Far Outweighs them All’ #EnjoyYourDay

Preach primarily to the will? Noah and the Whale say: "You can give up anything when you're following your heart" #BiblicalAnthropology

"Tell people about Christ and they'll read their bibles. Tell them to read their bibles and they'll feel guilty." Steve Levy

"Tell people about Christ and they'll do evangelism. Tell people to do evangelism and they'll feel guilty." Steve Levy

The voice of the LORD twists oaks & strips forests bare. Some in His temple cry “Glory”, others question the relevance of monologue Ps29:9

Want to reboot your life? Hold your nose while depressing your belly-button for 5 seconds. Failing that, try Jesus: 2Cor5:17 #EnjoyYourDay

Jesus is your salvation, your clothing, your food, yr shelter, yr reputation. Now those r taken care of, what do u want 2 do? #EnjoyYourDay

The oneness of God is:
1) without remainder,
2) the indivisible oneness of being
3) b/w the Son & His Father in the Spirit.
We need all 3

Update: everyone Loves the polka dots and we're all going to be besties forevs #StagFabulous

The year acc. to Lev23:
Passover => Firstfruits => Pentecost
Wait
Trumpets => Atonement for land&people => Tabernacles
#gospelcalendar

Like Bubba Watson I'm tweeting gospel from the golf course. Also like Bubba Wats... no, that's it :-/

"Why do you call me the True and Better David? David called me his Known and Present Lord." Jesus, Mark12:35-37. Paraphrase.

In History: Incarnation, Cross, Exaltation
In Christ: Flesh, Blood, Spirit
In Us: body, soul, spirit

Genesis: Snakes and Ladders
Psalms: Hide and Seek
#BibleGames

Galatians: Noughts and Crosses
1Peter: Simon Says
#BibleGames

Joshua: Conkers
Romans: More than Conkers
#BibleGames

Leviticus: Keep-Away-Pick-Up-Sticks combo
#BibleGames

Leviticus: Pass the Pigs
Jonah: Keep Away
#BibleGames

I lead. Others unfollow

Joel: Cricket(s)
Revelation 8: Hurling
#BibleGames

1 Corinthians 1: Crosswords
Job 38-41: Hungry, Hungry Hippos**
#BibleGames
**May be an elephant or water buffalo. Scholars disagree

2

Published on 2 Comments on Tweets, the Saga Conintues

Don't really get this http://www.reformation21.org/blog/2014/05/a-few-practical-questions.php Purely from Romans 1-5 you can offer some *very* stern pastoral rebukes => Romans 6.

Mary chose the better portion: to BE served by Jesus through His word. Luke 10:42 #EnjoyYourDay.

My mother has style and taste. Style: she's joined Twitter. Taste: she followed @mike_reeves first

"Can't stand those Jesus people, no way would I join them" <-- Sounds anti-hypocrisy right? It also sounds like the Pharisees of Jesus' day

Pharisees were "those who kept themselves separate" and they couldn't stand the Jesus people. But Jesus called *them* the hypocrites

Ps 30:6. Maybe this morning means more weeping 4u. But one morning every tear will be wiped away & today is another day closer #EnjoyYourDay

- "Guevara was easy. Name another one."
- "Given"
- "Ah, Two Che"

I had a history teacher who wd begin lessons by staring blankly into the middle distance &sighing. Coldplay's latest album is basically that

Drove thru Dartford Toll Booth at 5:59:57am avoiding the toll by 3 seconds. This must be how Jack Bauer feels

Listened to Isaiah 40-66 in the car. Imagine if *that* - the depths & the heights - was the tone of our preaching & pastoral counselling?

They didn’t seek 1st the Kingdom, they fled the King. Yet the King pursued the disciples thru death 2 find them & say “Peace” #EnjoyYourDay

We'll fight the neo-Marcionites the way the early church did: not by insisting Christ is the *best* revelation of God but the *only* one

Know the gospel, understand and live a theology of suffering & of work and you're just about as equipped as possible 4 personal evangelism

I’ve come up with a thousand separate arguments against scholasticism. They’re a bit a-Thomistic

321 is all abt the cross. THREE: The One crucified is truly God. TWO: The One crucified is truly Man. ONE: The great exchange truly ‘works’

In #Matthew14, Jesus “begins to” let Peter sink. But “immediately” He responds to his cry. #EnjoyYourDay

Sobering day at Auschwitz. Hearing the horrors of the camp I found myself muttering two things repeatedly: "Those bastards" and "I'm sorry"

Again and again we’re told that God’s Face shines on us. (Eg Num6; Ps80) In Jesus, God beams at you. #EnjoyYourDay

Don't use God and trust your mind. Trust God and use your mind. John Lennox #ELF2014

 

Paul was an 'effective' evangelist (Acts14:1) but he was often experienced as 'baffling' (9:22), 'battling' (13:45) & 'babbling' (17:18)

You can’t undo the past but Jesus has covered it and is now transforming the mess. It really is onwards and upwards #EnjoyYourDay

"Evangelism is a display of our weakness" Craig Dyer on 2 Cor 4:7 #ELF2014

Colonel Sanders: Chick magnate

 

You don’t have to wait to be welcomed into the kingdom. Thru the gospel Christ *has* welcomed u with open arms (Rom15:7) #EnjoyYourDay..

You can’t reverse engineer your theology of evangelism from what has ‘worked’

We do not build bridges to the world. Christ IS the bridge encountered thru our words in the context of cross-shaped love. All else is flesh

"Faith comes by... many and various methods, who knows how the Spirit may choose to work" #evangelism #notinmybible

"The sower mainly sowed on strategic soils and spent most of his time 'weeding' and 'breaking up the ground'" #evangelism #notinmybible

"I am not inclined to share the gospel because God's power for salvation is bigger than our evangelistic efforts" #evangelism #notinmybible

“Jews demand miraculous signs and Greeks look for wisdom but we cleverly deconstruct their worldviews” #evangelism #notinmybible

 

"We don't just have the status of being married. We are married." Classic @PeterMead on Union with Christ

Some look to the seriousness of wedding vows, others to the security of wedding rings. How bout looking 2your spouse? http://biblicalpreaching.net/2014/05/24/gospel-preaching

"Love rejoices in the Truth"... and has done for eternity. #Trinity

The world is not a factory with u pulling the levers. Consider the birds. It’s your Father’s house & ur His child. #Matthew6 #EnjoyYourDay

Underneath it’s not ‘blind, pitiless indifference’. Underneath are the everlasting arms. Deut 33:27 #EnjoyYourDay..

F.Schaeffer wd say there are 'no little people' with Jesus. Now there are no little people with social media. We're all our own press agents

Your Aaron has entered the Holy Place, bearing your name over his heart as a continuing memorial before the LORD. Exodus 28:29 #EnjoyYourDay

#1John1 Pretend righteousness, unconfessed sin, lonely independence = darkness. The Fellowship, Blood & Family of God = light #EnjoyYourDay

Alain de Botton's take on modern marriage: Finding someone in particular to save me from people in general

God has given us eternal life, and this life is in his Son. 1John5:11 #EnjoyYourDay..

Philippians 4:6 “@trouteyes: If you're anxious and you know it, clasp your hands.”

Groaning under the weight of your “sacrifices” 4 the gospel? Don’t think sacrifice, think sound investment (Mark 10:29-30) #EnjoyYourDay..

- To get the sequel shd I see 21 Jump St?
- Yes but now u know there's a sequel the 1st is ruined
- Who knew it'd be so hard to catch "22"?

 

Twitter widget by Rimon Habib - BuddyPress Expert Developer