Tag: humourous

Chuck Norris Facts:

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

Chuck Norris drinks napalm to quell his heartburn.

Aliens do exist, they're just waiting for Chuck Norris to die before they attack.

Chuck Norris can speak Russian... in Chinese.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital

Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.

When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Chuck Norris doesn't guess when he plays Guess Who: he knows.

Simon doesn't say...Chuck Norris says.

Chuck Norris does not need Twitter...he is already following you.

For Chuck Norris, every street is "one way". HIS WAY.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

 

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What's your favourite fact?

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Contributions from Comments (more gratefully received)

From Otepoti: (extra points for anyone who can explain!)

How many Reformed Church members does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one, but it has to be the tea drinker.

From Heather:
[youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcXa766suh8&feature=player_embedded"]

From Si:
[youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=09U7nt37tg8"]
[youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ErOz3_ARgI"]
[youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDKQliH1awY"]
[youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rymdJPZGt_Y"]

From John:

"A play so modern, and so brilliant it makes absolutely no sense to anybody!"

[youtube="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ksL_7WrhWOc"]

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