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Published on Leave a comment on Fun Friday – Pun Friday

Another Happy Friday from my Tweets... sorry!

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I want to write a book on Luther, from "Bondage of the Will" to his dying words. I'd call it "Choosers can't be beggars."

I'm pretty sure someone's been pouring custard into my burial site. The plot thickens.

They've just put 321 into Italian. When they translated 'del Mondo' it meant the world to me.

That's cheap! Apparently U2's frontman is 8ono

All day I've been trying to find an anagram for a pig hut video. I had to give up.

TRUE FACT: The top B-flat of a soprano's range can cause heart arrhythmia. Worse things happen at C.

I cannot emphasize /**THAT**/ enough

"Were there many factors that inspired such a speedy overture?" - "Only time" (Will Tell)

Strange, you can call a Welshman dim, but it means nothing to him.

To all those struggling with your iPhone updates... I'm sorry for your Ios

Some call me lazy. Let them.

I don't mean to judge but naming your children after diseases is cruel. Especially if your surname is Ridden.

I'm always wondering how @DerrenBrown might trick me. Hypnothetically speaking.

That Paul McKenna, he can mesmerize others but he can't take it himself. Hypnocrite

My father quit his job cleaning Tube tracks after they asked him to double as a late-night ghost-buster. He doesn't fluffer ghouls sadly

Tried to find an anagram of 'how I use a hot gut slime encrusted within a fat idiot'. In the end I thought it was a ridiculous waste of time

Everywhere I go I see automated crazy people. Maybe it's psychos'o-matic

Street-preachers: think twice before proclaiming Psalm 118:12. You may just be Preaching the Bees. #topicalspoonerism #edgy

Given what we know of human nature... In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is burnt as a witch, right?

They don't like you shrinking the Pyramid of Cheops. Small wonder.

The temple drummer didn't want to accompany the ceremony. But I had him bang to rites.

You don't like flat bread? More's the pitta.

Just bought a bible that skips from Psalms to Ecclesiastes. Someone's been taking the proverbial

-- My last bible only had 3 Gospels. I should have realised - it was Marked down :(

-- I don't mind my Spanish bookseller keeping back the fourth gospel for himself. Takes Juan to know Juan

-- My last bible stopped before Psalms. I guess they thought Job Done

-- Turns out my bible was missing Ezekiel 38-39. I was agog! Not to mention magog

-- My bible has variant spellings of the minor prophets. Obadih. Obadah. Life goes on

-- I, like, totally finished Jonah. Then I turned the page and was all, like, Dude, where's Micah?

"All I wanted was some cough mixture but the pharmacist just went on and on"
"Expectorant?"
"No I was shocked"
#coughlolz

If you like Pop, you'll LOVE Bublé Rap

Veni Vidi Vici sounds best in Latin. Unless you've just won at conkers

Leave it. The bandage can come off when it's goo'd and reddy

< Sorry for the bandage gag. #takingthepuss

I see Burberry's going up-market again. Sorting out the tweed from the chav.

0K magazine leaves me absolutely cold.

Times Knew Roman... A Font of Wisdom

Sorry, I know you deserve a higher Calibri of pun, but no need to get all AdversArial about it.

These font gags are Sans Comic :(

Is it just me or is solipsism nuts?

What is 'vicarious research'? Asking for a friend.

Radiohead's frontman tends to dominate. As a rule of thom

St Pancras: A guy in the shop wanted to impress the French salesman. "Bonjour" he said. "Oh u speak French?" "Oui, un petit pois"

"I CAN'T BELIEVE HE CHOSE THIS! DOES HE EVEN KNOW ME? I'D RATHER D.. Oh, it's actually quite nice."#everyepisodeofDontTellTheBride

Rejoice Gok, Rejoice! For She has an hourglass figure and You have A Belt! #EveryGokWanShow

ME: If Channing Tatum asked you "Come away with me now", what would you say?
EMMA: I'm sorry I'm married
ME: In what sense are you sorry?

Today a woman told me "I must get your wife's book for my granddaughter, she too struggles with dyslexia." #runsinthefamily

What my wife meant to say: "I am *not* a misanthrope." What she actually said: "I am *not* a malaprop." Perfect.

"Co-heirs with Christ" is a wonderful truth. For 1 thing when window shopping u can say 2 yr wife: "U like that necklace honey? It's yours"

He went for a fist-pump, I went for a handshake. You may say he was the cool one. I say paper beats rock.

Remember: Spring Forwards, Autumn't you put the clock back an hour?

Twitter is about striking that delicate balance between 1) incisive social commentary and 2) toilet humour. Today I'm doing a number 2

It takes a child to raze a village #PyroProverbs

I can't shed tears in public. It's a crying shame :(

Us evangelists are a hardy breed. Despite my car being dead, I'm now off to Scotland to preach. This is what we train for.

You may call me crazy, writing a sequel to Antigone. "All the characters are dead" you'll say. I say "Antigtwo" writes itself!

 

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Published on 3 Comments on God in the Old Testament

ChristOldTestament

A repost from 2011

I've had many discussions under the title of "Christ in the Old Testament."  But perhaps the issues would be seen more clearly if we labelled the debate: "God in the Old Testament."

And actually, the fact that those two titles sound quite different tells you everything you need to know about the Christlessness of much of our God-talk.

We (and I include myself here in my knee-jerk western deism) imagine that there's a bed-rock deity called "God" who is obviously the God spoken of in Genesis.  And then we discuss whether the Patriarchs also knew this shadowy figure called Messiah.  And we debate how Messianic certain discrete verses are, and to what degree the author was aware, and to what degree the first audience was cognisant of specific promises and appearances, etc, etc.  But we almost never challenge that view of "God" which we all signed off on in the beginning!

Thus, from the outset, God is defined as - essentially - 'the God of monotheism' (broadly conceived) and Christ is defined as a nuance to a more foundational divine reality.  Then we spend all our time debating how clear the nuance was!

But what if, from the beginning, Elohim wasn't the god of Aristotle!  It's a shocking thought I know, but let's run with it.  What if He makes all things by His Spirit and Word and says "Let us"?  And what if this is not something that needs to be kept in check by a hermeneutic that expects only the omnibeing?  And what if the LORD God stoops down and breathes into Adam's nostrils and what if, under the name "Voice of the LORD", He walks in the garden in the cool of the day and encounters the couple as a divine Person.

How much clearer Adam saw God than us!  Without the "benefit" of our western theistic presuppositions, he sees the "very God from very God."  He doesn't think in that exact language, but he certainly doesn't think in unitarian categories either. To think of "the Son" as something extra to his simple belief in "God" betrays disturbing assumptions about who we think "God" is.

Who is this "God" for whom the Son is an addendum?  Why begin the Scriptures with that "God"?  And if the primary truths about God are unitarian, is our own faith primarily unitarian, just with a Jesus nuance?

The question is deeper than "Christ in the Old Testament."  In fact, it's deeper than "God in the Old Testament."  It's the question of God.  Which explains why the issue can get quite heated at times.  But also why it's so crucial.

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Published on 3 Comments on Podcast: Online Witness (Interview with Gavin Tyte)

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In 2011, Gavin Tyte won ITV’s Nativity Factor with his Beatbox Nativity (see below).

Gavin is an ordained Anglican minister and now a full-time pastor to the beatboxing community. In this interview, Gavin talks about his faith, his beatboxing and his witness. He speaks with refreshing clarity about the need to be authentic - to love people, to use our gifts and to let our witness flow out of a genuine love for Christ, for people and for the world.

Check out Beatbox Bible to see Luke's Gospel rapped and to learn to do the same - what a resource!

Andy and I really enjoyed talking to him, hope you enjoy listening.

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5

Published on 5 Comments on From Fullness

imageThus says the Lord God, It is not for your sake, O house of Israel, that I am about to act, but for the sake of my holy name.. . . And I will vindicate the holiness of my great name. . . . And the nations will know that I am the Lord. (Ezekiel 36:22-23; 32)

If God's glory is His grace (and it is), then what does it mean for God to act for the sake of His own name or glory. Obviously we're not talking here of the self-absorbed omni-god of philosophy. We're talking about the Father who has always found His life and identity in pouring out His very Spirit to His Son. We're talking about the God who, in eternity, has determined to be the adopting-by-grace-God. What does it mean for this God to act for His own sake, His own name, His own glory?

I've used this illustration often, but I think it's instructive... A friend of mine was approaching a set of doors and heard high-heels behind him. He stopped to open the door for the woman behind him. As she passed through she shot him a glare: "I hope you're not opening the door because I'm a lady." With enviable quick thinking he replied, "No, I'm opening the door because I'm a gentleman."  Boom!

Not for your sake, not for your sake am I acting, but for the sake of my holy name. Not because you are a Damsel in distress, but because I am a Gentleman. I do not act because you have forced my hand, twisted my arm, or tugged at my heart strings. I act from my own determination to be chivalrous.

That's what it means for God to act for His own sake. Not at all that God is self-centred. On the contrary God is so gloriously self-giving that He refuses to have His gracious salvation construed as merely a response to our plight. It's not that He's a sucker for a sinner. It's not that He can't help Himself when He sees our need and so sighs and embarks on a saving mission. It's not because we're a lady, it's cos He's a Gentleman.

God acts from fullness. That's pretty much the heart of what it means that God acts for His own sake. He is a Fountain brimming over, not a Water Tank to be drawn down.

Therefore what is godliness? It is all about acting from fullness.  Before God we are empty (cf the first 4 beatitudes - poor, mourning, meek, hungry). Before the world we are poured out (cf the last 4 beatitudes - showing mercy, purity, peace and righteousness). From fullness we flow out to the world.

When I get the time I'll write about how this dynamic plays out in church life, in family life, in loving our neighbours, in reaching the world. But for now I hope it's obvious that 'God acting for His own sake' is not a special dispensation to be selfish which God reserves for Himself. It's not about His own self-regard which is ok for Him but not ok for us. Actually, we should follow God in acting for the sake of our holy name because such actions are not demonstrations of self-regard but of the kind of self-giving that comes from fullness.

 

 

 

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Published on 1 Comment on Happy Friday – Hashtag Friday

Twitter-Hashtags

Some home grown humour today - a collection of the hashtag games I've played on Twitter...

#BritishBible "The leaves of the tea are for the healing of the nations"

#BritishBible "How the Blighty is fallen"

#BritishBible "Mustn't grumble" (Numbers 14:27)

#BritishBible "That's the Spirit!" (1 John 4:2)

#BritishBible "The guests at the wedding turned their water into whine."

#BritishBible Acts 8:26: "And an angel of the Lord said unto Philip, 'Pip, Pip, Tally Ho!'"

#BritishBible Acts 8:39 "Toodle Pip"

#BritishBible 1 Peter 1:8 "You are filled with an inexpressible joy. And we'd rather you keep it that way."

#BritishBible Rev 8:1 "There was silence in heaven for about half an hour. And no-one knew where to look..."

#BritishBible "...Terry considered making a joke about running out of scrolls but his wife shot him a deadly glare."

#BritishBible "There is now no condemnation, only a vague but gnawing sense of utter shame and worthlessness."

 

 

#halfheartedlovesongs  Mild thing, you make my heart sink

#halfheartedlovesongs  I got flu babe

#halfheartedlovesongs  Every little thing she does is tiresome

#halfheartedlovesongs  Am I only dreaming, or is this burning, in-di-gestion pain?

#halfheartedlovesongs  I feel it in my fingers I feel it in my toes. This love is a peripheral, strictly surface-level sensation

#halfheartedlovesongs  I just called to say this is my new number, update your contacts

#halfheartedlovesongs  Don't want to close my eyes, Don't want to fall asleep, But does this story have a point??

#halfheartedlovesongs  Shh hon, Corrie's on, And I Don't Want To Miss A Thing

#halfheartedlovesongs  With or without you, With or without youuuuu, I could live, with or without you

#halfheartedlovesong  I wanna hold your handbag

#halfheartedlovesongs  I can't see me lovin nobody but you for all my life. #doublenegative#brilliantloophole

#halfheartedlovesongs  On the day that u were born the angels got together... Committee projects are always tricky

#halfheartedlovesongs Your love is like a roller-coaster baby, baby - a big let down

#halfheartedlovesongs "Whoaaaahhh, this sex is quite dire."

 

 

#mistranslatedbooks Victor Hugo's uplifting sequel: Less Miserable

#mistranslatedbooks The Story of a Conurbation by Charles Dickens

#mistranslatedbooks Harper Lee's tale of a Romanian pop duo cut down in their prime: To Kill A Cheeky Girl

#mistranslatedbooks  Celsius 232.7.   69060 Miles Under The Sea.   Around the World in 11.43 Weeks.

#mistranslatedbooks Mike Horton's seminal: "ianity"

#mistranslatedbooks Giovanni Arpino's: "Lady Pong" & Kenneth Grahame's "Fart in the Woods"

 

 

If u think u can make it today without prayer, u put yourself above MC Hammer. RU better than the Hammer? #MiddleAgedYouthWorker

It's like that scene from Howard's End... #MiddleAgedYouthWorker

I say PERI you say CHORESIS: PERI -- PERI -- #MiddleAgedYouthWorker

Sure Michaelangelo was a party dude, but if a machine needed doing Donatello was your ninja turtle. #MiddleAgedYouthWorker

 

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spew #typofilms

When Happy Met Silly #typofilms

When Hairy Met Pally #typofilms

John McClane takes on the badger cull: "Die Herd" #typofilms

 

#AddaWordRuinaMovie Slum Dog. Millionaire Otter

#AddaWordRuinaMovie When Harry Met Sally Gunnell

#AddaWordRuinaMovie Batman Begins Pilates

#AddaWordRuinaMovie Die Hard Belieber. (Works as adjective OR imperative)

#AddaWordRuinAMovie Batman Yodels, Batman: Tax Returns, Batman Forever Itchy, Batman Begins Decoupage, Dark Knight Bakes, Dark Knight: Bread Rises

#AddaWordRuinaChristianBook When I don't desire Desiring God, The Well Good God, The Unquenchable Flamethrower, If God, then What Ever?

 

If you read Exodus backwards, the Israelites run from torrential bread-storms to seek work in Egypt #BackwardsBible

If you read Ruth backwards, Boaz divorces&repatriates his asylum-seeking wife after finding another man's shoe #BackwardsBible

If you read Genesis 25-27 backwards, Isaac blesses his cross dressing son who becomes a successful caterer #BackwardsBible

If you read 1 Samuel 17 backwards, David, just one day from retirement, sees the daddy of all zombies and quits #BackwardsBible

If you read Isaiah 6 backwards, the prophet hurls a seraph at the altar after hearing his job description #BackwardsBible

If you read Luke 5 backwards, Jesus encourages his friends to pursue many and varied career paths #BackwardsBible

If you read Acts 5 backwards, a wealthy couple leave a substantial legacy to the church #BackwardsBible

If you read Acts 8 backwards, Philip gets blown through a chariot. An Ethiopian is bemused #BackwardsBible

If you read John 2 backwards, Jesus tidies a temple and ruins a wedding #BackwardsBible

If you read Acts 2 backwards, Peter appears drunk in town having driven away 95% of the church #BackwardsBible

If you read Genesis 2 backwards, Adam faints at the sight of a naked lady. He sends away all the animals and dies alone :( #BackwardsBible

If you read Gen 3 backwards, the LORD drags Adam&Eve into the garden, gives them a stern dressing down then exits, moonwalking #BackwardsBible

New Ruling: There are only 2 possible exits from a #BackwardsBible scene. 1) A moonwalk, 2) reverse pregnancy. 2) is strictly forbidden

If you read John 6-8 backwards, Jesus throws a woman to the mob, steals everyone's lunch then moon-walks on water #BackwardsBible

 

#ClichedBible "I was born reddy" (Esau; Gen 25:25)

#ClichedBible "Totes Amaze Bowls" (Rev16) and "Dead Enosh" (Gen5:11)

#ClichedBible "That's how I roll" (Ezekiel 1:19)

#ClichedBible "I'll sleep when I'm dead" (1Thes4:13)

#ClichedBible "Aw, hell no" (Matt16:20)

#ClichedBible "Shut up and kiss me" (Psalm 2:12)

#ClichedBible "It's all good" (Gen1:31). "It's all goo'd" (Lev13:10)

 

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Institutional racism #ruinedpunchline

KnockKnock.
Who there?
Ray Davies.
Ray Davies of TheWho?
No ur thinkin of RogerDaltrey, ever heard of the Kinks?
*silence*
#ruinedpunchline

A wisecracking barman walks into a stable. The horses exact brutal revenge for years of unprovoked verbal abuse. #ruinedpunchline

My dog's got no distinguishing features?
What's funny about that?
Why is everything a joke with you?
#ruinedpunchline

What do u call a boomerang that doesn't return? True fact: most don't! Those that do are called 'Returning Boomerangs' #ruinedpunchline

How many Irishmen does it take to change a tired and shallow cultural stereotype? Tirty tree. #ruinedpunchline

Did you hear the one about the Chinese Dentist who, every afternoon, was subjected to racist "jokes"? :( #ruinedpunchline #punchlinesthatruin

Vet: "I'm going to have 2 put yr dog down."
Me:"Why, is it heavy? :)"
Vet: "No it mauled 3 children, we've been thru this"
#ruinedpunchline

- Someone called you an owl.
- Who?
- Hahaha!
- Who? Who dammit!??
- Hahahahaha!
- I'll kill you, I'll kill all of you
#ruinedpunchline

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? An easy target - Yee Har! Lock n load! #ruinedpunchline

What do you call a 3-legged donkey? Disabled? Differently abled? Ambulatorially Challenged? It's a minefield! #ruinedpunchline

 

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Published on 27 Comments on 10 Misconceptions About Grace

grace

A repost from 2011

'Isn't it wonderful that we're now under grace?' they enthuse.

'Sure is,' you say.

And then they explain what they mean by 'grace' and you wonder what it is they've really found themselves 'under'.

Here are 10 common misconceptions.

1. Hallelujah, God has lowered the bar!  He used to care about loads of stuff.  Now it's just a few things.  You know, important stuff.  We don't sweat the small stuff anymore.  Just the big stuff.

2.  Hurrah!  Now we obey God out of gratitude for what He's done, which is an entirely new concept.  Thank God we're free from the law, which obviously was only ever about stoic duty and nothing to do with gratitude for past salvation (Exodus 20:2).  Now that we've got gratitude it means all legalism is a thing of the past.  So long as we're grateful.  Properly grateful mind you.  Grateful enough to empower a whole heap of obedience.

3.  Phew - now we don't have to get hung up about the laws of the land.  So don't ask me to pay my parking ticket - Pharisee!

4. Isn't it great - it's not about duty-bound works, it's all about love.  Of course the law had nothing to do with love.  Nasty law.  Now, as long as we stress love we're avoiding all forms of legalism.  Speaking of which - what is your love-meter reading today?

5. Grace is about treading that tight-rope between legalism and licence.  It's getting the balance just right between celebrating our freedom and not indulging it too much.  Cos, you know, we're forgiven, but let's not go crazy.  Let's live in "grace" which is the safe middle-ground between moralism and immorality.

6. God used to be fierce and judgemental now He's chilled and sweet.

7. God used to be about pragmatics, now He's just into dogmatics.  He used to be interested in deeds, now He's interested in creeds.

8.  Legalism is all about obeying the law in my own strength.  Grace is about obeying the law in God's strength.  Grace is the fuel for my car.  It keeps me going towards the destination.  It's a heck of a long drive but, Praise Jesus, there's fuel in the tank.

9.  Discipleship used to be important but now it's about grace.  Which means... you know.  Not really discipleship.  More... you know... grace.

10. It used to be about my works.  But now it's about my faith.

No, non, niet, nein!

In the flesh it was about your work.  In the Spirit it's about Christ's work.  That's the difference.  Not so much "works versus faith" as "you versus Christ".  It's His work outside of you.  His redemption.  His Person in Whom all the promises of God are yes and all the laws of God are fulfilled.   He defines the realm of grace.  Not abstract qualities like gratitude or lovingness or certain mental states - all of which might be worked up apart from Jesus.  Neither is it about God's own disposition softening in His old age.  And neither is it about the absence of certain obligations, from the state or Scripture or conscience or Christ or wherever.

It's about the kingdom of the Beloved Son in Whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins, and over to which we have been delivered apart from any merit of our own (Colossians 1:13-14).   It's the position we find ourselves in - sealed by the Spirit into Christ, hidden in Him at the Father's right hand - lavished with mercy and honour and kindness, our old man crucified and put away, His Spirit put within us.  A new realm, a new Master, a new Power, a new freedom, a new destiny and we've done nothing to deserve it.  And it's all real and it all holds true not by my own workings or feelings but by the Almighty Father, who raised Jesus from the dead and raised me up with Him.

Grace is not like a new and improved religious programme that's nicer, less draconian - less duty, more love and groovy vibes.  Grace is the blood, sweat and tears of Jesus expended on your behalf while you do nothing but cause His death.  It's the mighty resurrection of Christ in which you are swept up to glory entirely apart from your own efforts and merits.  Grace is where you find yourself - in Christ - and you're in Him not because but in spite of yourself.  Now compare with the 10 misconceptions above.

How do we get it so wrong?

Perhaps my favourite verse:

I was crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.  The life I live in the body I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me.  (Galatians 2:20)

I don't know any better way of explaining biblical grace than the David and Goliath story - here's an older post on it. Or just click the grace tag for more.

Which of those 10 misconceptions do you hear most commonly?  Any more to add?

 

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Published on 1 Comment on Podcast: Graham Miller on our Online Witness

TEP-PodcastCover-1024x1024Last week we spoke to Graham Miller from London City Mission about the work of LCM.

This week we pick his brains on online evangelism. Here is just some of the wisdom he shares...

Sometimes evangelistic sites can be hijacked by atheists trying to wind up the Christian apologist, perhaps we need more "walled gardens" in internet evangelism - e.g. Facebook groups that discuss deeper issues, news stories. It's a short walk from a serious conversation to a gospel conversation.

The internet enables the resourcing of evangelists much more broadly as expertise is shared.

People in the UK are very private people, even if Christians are being loving, it's not on show. But the internet is an opportunity to open the doors on that.

Do we just vent our spleen online? Or do we realise that online is one more dimension of our Christian discipleship?

Remember that our disagreements online are public.

Churches are the best apologetic - the best witness. The love of a church community together is the ideal. But the internet is part of the picture - it can be a step on the way to church community.

 

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Published on Leave a comment on Tweets Collected

twitter-iconTHIS is the most perfect illustration of "put off the old self" ever.

In Christ ur members of God's flock, purchased by God's blood, fed by God's word & surrounded by God's grace. Acts20 #EnjoyYourDay

To be "Trinitarian" without being Christ-centred is like writing an "Ode to Love" with no-one in mind.

Husbands should pray to GUSH: Gentleness (Col3:19); Understanding (1Pet3:7); Sacrifice (Eph5:25); Headship (Eph5:23)

I've read to the end, it's going to be ok. If it's not ok now, it's not the end. #EnjoyYourDay

"The cross is a pulpit, and the lesson Christ preached on it is love." (Augustine)

"A comedy is a story that begins in pain but ends in joy" Dante. *Because* life is a comedy, we expect pain. #theologyofsuffering

Jesus - self-abasing Slave & sacrificial Lamb - HE reveals the name and nature of God. #nogodlikeHim #Phil2 #EnjoyYourDay

If u really want 'another reformation' don't keep speaking of 'grace' as a substance or motivational technique. That's medieval catholicism

DO speak of Christ who *is* the grace of God, given freely for sinners.

"To 1 who does not work but trusts God who justifies the ungodly their faith is credited as righteousness." Rom5:5 #EnjoyYourReformationDay

Mark Driscoll's rejection of pacifism (and theology of glory) by Preston Sprinkle http://facultyblog.eternitybiblecollege.com/2013/10/driscolls-dejesus-uncrossed/ …

1Cor1:2 Dear Christian, you are set apart as special by Jesus Christ and called holy in Him. In other words, You're a saint #EnjoyYourDay

Reformation Day: celebrating the first, last and only time Pinterest mattered

Twitter is about striking that delicate balance between 1) incisive social commentary and 2) toilet humour. Today I'm doing a number 2

"Grace alone" and "faith alone" are the objective and subjective descriptions of how salvation is given in "Christ alone" *He* is the centre

Love this by Andy Crouch on why matter matters in matters of sex and the body

I have no idea what "sold out for Jesus" means. But I'm pretty sure the *Biblical* phrase is "purchased in full."

"Conversational evangelism is not mainly abt 'going from secular 2 spiritual things' but from superficial 2 important things" @michael_ots

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Institutional racism #ruinedpunchline

KnockKnock.
Who there?
Ray Davies.
Ray Davies of TheWho?
No ur thinkin of RogerDaltrey, ever heard of the Kinks?
*silence*
#ruinedpunchline

A wisecracking barman walks into a stable. The horses exact brutal revenge for years of unprovoked verbal abuse. #ruinedpunchline

My dog's got no distinguishing features?
What's funny about that?
Why is everything a joke with you?
#ruinedpunchline

What do u call a boomerang that doesn't return? True fact: most don't! Those that do are called 'Returning Boomerangs' #ruinedpunchline

How many Irishmen does it take to change a tired and shallow cultural stereotype? Tirty tree. #ruinedpunchline

Did you hear the one about the Chinese Dentist every afternoon subjected to racist "jokes"? :( #ruinedpunchline #punchlinesthatruin

Vet: "I'm going to have 2 put yr dog down." Me:"Why, is it heavy? :)" Vet: "No it mauled 3 children, we've been thru this" #ruinedpunchline

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? An easy target - Yee Har! Lock n load! #ruinedpunchline

What do you call a 3-legged donkey? Disabled? Differently abled? Ambulatorially Challenged? It's a minefield! #ruinedpunchline

- Someone called you an owl.
- Who?
- Hahaha!
- Who?
Who dammit!??
- Hahahahaha!
- I'll kill you, I'll kill all of you
#ruinedpunchline

Why should you avoid telling secrets in a cornfield? Because the NSA is everywhere #topical #ruinedpunchline

WORRIES beseige us. But #Phil4 promises if we PRAY em 'with thanksgiving' 2 our loving Father it's PEACE that will surround us #EnjoyYourDay

The Life of Heaven (or holiness) is not our journey to Jesus: Up and In. It's Jesus' journey to us (and then with us): Down and Out.

As lost as ur in Adam is as saved as ur in Christ. The wretchedness u feel is more than matched by the righteousness He gives #EnjoyYourDay

The Spirit's job is not really to make our flesh feel saved. In *spite* of our flesh He testifies to our spirits thru the gospel word Rom7-8

Things I love abt Emma's blog: 1) it's 'theology of the cross' w/o being 'misery loves company'. 2) It doesn't bemoan but celebrates church...

<< 3) It does 'honesty' and *then* truth (some of us only manage the latter), 4) it's her, just totally her. http://emmascrivener.net

All that 'finding your identity in the gospel' stuff sounds brilliantly Lutheran, but it's not the whole story...

..Luther: We live far above ourselves in Christ by faith but we ALSO live far beneath ourselves in our neighbour thru love. 2nd bit=crucial.

Thus pastoral advice isn't always 'Look to Christ'. Good gospel advice is also 'Now pass it on in sacrificial service'

In Christ, ur not just loved with the love that belongs to Him. Ur also liked with the like that He deserves #EnjoyYourDay

Your home is where His heart is. #Ex28 #Heb7 #EnjoyYourDay

Every pastoral crisis is an opportunity to hear the gospel again, only this time u might actually listen.

Pyromaniac's Proverb: It takes a child to raze a village

1/2 #Gravity: Spectacular! 90 mins of sustained threat. Even more harrowing is the #worldview it inhabits: The heavens are aimless&deadly...

2/2 So embrace tragedy, stand on the shoulders of the dead&if ur VERY lucky u'll emerge into a new stage in the struggle 4 survival #Gravity

For the outcast & weak the LORD upholds, feeds, frees, gives sight, lifts, loves, watches over & sustains #Ps146 #EnjoyYourDay

I can't shed tears in public. It's a crying shame :(

Human nature isn't atomistic, it's Adamistic

Us evangelists are a hardy breed. Despite my car being dead, I'm now off to Scotland to preach. This is what we train for

One Friday the King of Glory said 'Job Done!' (John19:30). His perfect work became our eternal rest. #EnjoyYourWeekend

At Yom Kippur, the sacrifices&scapegoat were vital but the focus was the High Priest himself. Worth thinking abt when considering #atonement

CofE baptises three times as many adults as Baptist Union. Only 60% of Anglican baptisms are babies under 1 http://www.affinity.org.uk/foundations-issues/issue-63-article-4---the-anglican-doctrine-of-baptism … @LeeGatiss

You may call me crazy, writing a sequel to Antigone. "All the characters are dead" you'll say. I say "Antigtwo" writes itself!

Published on Leave a comment on Stretching the truth

imageThis morning I gave my last talk at a houseparty for CUs in Edinburgh. Towards the end I gave examples of how church life is God's mission strategy for the world (none of this part of the talk was scripted). The first two examples were ways our church family has supported us (and the ways that love was a witness to unbelievers). I then thought of a third example on the spot - church members providing specific helps for a woman in our congregation. Thing is, in real life, the woman actually declined that offer, but the way I said it made it sound like it happened.

Maybe a little thing, but it struck me on the train home that manipulating the truth when you're meant to be preaching it is a slippery slope. So here's my confession, cos I don't want to do it again.

Published on Leave a comment on Talking about evolution, creation and intelligent design

imageA friend on Facebook is studying Biology and just posted the question: "Any ideas for or against intelligent design" she has a classroom discussion on the issue coming up.

The first bit of advice was this:

I'd just take a copy of 'On the origin of the species' ( hardback) and smack any proponent of ID over the head with it :)

Another commenter said:

Cordyceps fungi and various parasitic insects (i.e. wasps). No way they could have been 'designed'.

I weighed in, as is my wont, with these two comments. (I've altered a word here and there for clarity). Perhaps it might be useful in your context...

I'm a Christian who believes the universe was designed (in one sense every Christian believes in intelligent design - since God's quite smart) but I don't like ID as a movement, cos the Christian story is actually that A) Creation is *fallen* and B) God is known, not by studying irreducible complexity but by seeing Him in the face of Christ.

That said, ID proponents are not dummies (some are, many aren't). And when they raise tough questions about thorough-going naturalism, they should be heard. How do systems increase in informational content without an intelligent input? That is a good and vital question? How can natural selection account for irreducible complexity (systems where incremental developments could never add up to the system as a whole because the individual stages don't add survival value)? That is a good question and needs more than a dismissive answer. Like I say, I'm not any kind of proponent for the ID movement, but they do raise vital scientific questions that shouldn't simply be dubbed stupid.

On another note, for the Christian, parasites are a brilliant testimony to the Bible's story. Parasites are secondary things that come along and spoil an original and ultimate good. That is precisely the Bible's picture of good and evil. There is an original and ultimate good (God) spoiled by something secondary and derivative (evil).

Then...

Like I say I'm not a fan of the ID project - but... Remember where the whole discussion begins. It begins with the undoubted and gob-smacking *appearance* of intelligent design. Everyone agrees that the world looks designed. A biologist might come along and say "I've found a mechanism that accounts for that appearance." But even if the mechanism has tremendous explanatory power (and natural selection does), remember:

A) Good science involves questioning paradigms, and IDers should be allowed to question "Does this mechanism really explain this and that?" Irreducible complexity and the information problem are some *excellent* questions to ask of the materialistic paradigm. It's not good science to ridicule that questioning. It actually starts to sound like a power play.

B) Even if we grant that Darwin has sewn up 'the origin of the *species*', there are still three other origins questions that are at least as pressing: origin of the cosmos, origin of life itself, origin of consciousness. You might want to argue that natural selection explains all of these, but at that point I recall the old saying: If all you've got is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail. Natural selection is an excellent hammer to be applied to certain features of the natural world, but I'd seriously question its ability to explain everything. Darwin's finches are fascinating and tell us much about evolution - it's quite a stretch to make them explain the cosmos!

C) Remember that discovering a mechanism says precisely Nothing about the existence of a Maker. It's useful to know the workings of an internal combustion engine, but no matter how comprehensive the knowledge, the existence of Henry Ford is an explanation beyond the wit of reverse-engineering. Mechanism and Maker are two different questions.

D) Remember where the conversation begins. It begins with everyone agreeing that the world looks eerily like it's designed. Even if you come up with an elaborate mechanism and provide convincing answers to all objections, the simplest explanation (i.e. that it *is* designed - and natural selection is one mechanism among many) is a perfectly reasonable position to take! Those who ridicule it are betraying the rational, scientific ideals they claim to be upholding.

Like I say, I'm not an IDer, I'm just a Christian, but I look on the debate with interest.

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