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Published on Leave a comment on Men: proud, harsh, lustful cowards

I'm doing a men's breakfast tomorrow.  We're just going to look at Jesus, and in Him to see our Jesus-shaped God.

But at one point I think I'm going to mention some typical sins of men: pride, harshness, lust, cowardice.

(For some reason or another, Emma was able to help me very quickly with compiling the list.  Dunno where she picked it up, maybe she's read about male sins somewhere.  Anyhows...)

As soon as I came up with these four sins, something drew me immediately to Isaiah 42.  Here's real manhood, and here's our hope.  We become like what we worship (Ps 115:8), so look again to Christ:

Isaiah 42:1 "Here is My Servant, whom I uphold, My Chosen One in Whom I delight; I will put My Spirit on Him and He will bring justice to the nations. 2 He will not shout or cry out, or raise His voice in the streets. 3 A bruised reed He will not break, and a smouldering wick He will not snuff out. In faithfulness He will bring forth justice; 4 He will not falter or be discouraged till He establishes justice on earth.

Pride?  He is so humble!  (v2)

Harsh?  He is so gentle!  (v3)

Lustful?  He is so captivating He takes even the Father's Breath away!  (v1)

Cowardly?  His mission is global, unstoppable, and you’re included!  (v1,4)

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Published on Leave a comment on Feminine Self-Control or Christianized Joy-Killing

Time and again Emma and I see passionate Christian women who take to hating their passions.   And they can find any number of pastel-coloured women's devotional books to bash these feelings back down.

From Emma's blog...

"A few weeks ago I was looking with a friend at some photos of her as a young girl, before she came to faith.  She said she felt like a completely different person to the girl in the pictures.  And there was so much to celebrate in that!  But amongst the genuine joy for the Lord's work in her life, she commented that she felt some sadness too.  As we talked, she explained that when she became a Christian she felt she needed to renounce, not just past behaviours, but the more exuberant parts of her personality.  As a Christian, she felt that these passions were inappropriate.  What’s interesting, is that they still come out – but in distorted ways.  And this just reinforces her own feelings of worthlessness.  Which in turn makes her want to kill those desires all the more."

What does self-control mean for Christians?  For women?  And for Christian women whose self-mastery is so strong they can deny themselves even food?!

Will-power ain't the solution!  Will-power is the problem.  And redoubled efforts in another direction won't solve it.

Something needs to get at those passions - to stop stuffing, slicing or starving them!

Read Emma's whole piece.

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Published on Leave a comment on Spouse speak

Been talking marriage stuff with other couples recently.  Some thoughts on spouse-speak:

  • Husbands are called particularly to love.  Wives called particularly to respect (Ephesians 5:33)
  • In sin, spouses will speak the opposite of what their spouses need.
  • Therefore in anger a husband's words will kill and a wife's will emasculate.
  • The damage of harsh words is like thrusting a sword (Prov 12:18) - fast, sharp, devastating, wound-making
  • The good of healing words is like planting a tree (Prov 15:4) - slow, deep, seemingly ineffectual but incredibly fruitful

When you add all this up you get husbands who fail to plant seeds in their wives because it looks so ineffectual.  Wives then feel untouched by their husbands and in turn cool from them.  Here you have a breeding ground for resentment that will build until the knives come out.

Instead we need to engage in the ongoing work of seed planting - "I love you."  "I'm proud of you."

For more on men, women, words and planting seeds - these thoughts are always bouncing around my head on the issue.

Published on Leave a comment on Arian misogyny

Finally!  JW's knocked on my door this morning.  First time ever.  An older guy and a younger Polish woman.

So I threw some Gen 19:24 shapes their way. "To which Jehovah are you witnessing, the LORD out of the heavens or the LORD on the earth?"

The woman seemed quite interested.  The man said "Trinity?  Rubbish.  Paul refutes the trinity in 1 Corinthians 11:3."  So we went to 1 Corinthians 11:3

But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.

"How does this refute the trinity?" I ask.

"Well," he explains, "God is the head over Christ which means Christ is less than God."

I say "So the Father is the head of Christ the way I'm the head of my wife?"

"That's right"

"Let me ask you, Is my wife less of a human being than me?"

"Yes" said the man.  "N.." said the woman and then changed it to a faltering yes.

I check I've heard them right.  "So my wife is less of a human being than me?"

"Well," reasons the man, "you make the decisions.  You're in charge."

"Mmmm and so I'm a greater being than my wife?"

"That's right" said the man.  The woman frowns.

I turn to her and say "You realise you're in a cult don't you."

The man grabs her by the arm and they start to make their escape.

"Keep reading the bible and keep thinking about marriage," I call to her as they move down the street.  "You know women are equal to men... AND JESUS IS EQUAL TO GOD!"

Don't think they'll be back any time soon.

But it goes to show that Arians are misogynists whatever the PC gloss.  And of course misogynists are Arians, whatever the Christian gloss.

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Published on 5 Comments on CS Lewis on men and women in the Purgatorial Kitchen

From a letter to an American woman, 31.7.62

I have a notion that, apart from actual pain, men and women are quite diversely afflicted by illness.  To a woman one of the great evils about it is that she can't do things.  To a man (or anyway a man like me) the great consolation is the reflection "well, anyway, no-one can now demand that I should do anything." I have often had the fancy that one stage in purgatory might be a great big kitchen in which things are always going wrong - milk boiling over, crockery getting smashed, toast burning, animals stealing.  The women have to learn to sit still and mind their own business: the men have to learn to jump up and do something about it. When both sexes have mastered this exercise, they go on to the next.

A clarification written 03.09.62

[this] is simply my lifelong experience - that men are more likely to hand over to others what they ought to do themselves, and women more likely to do themselves what others wish they would leave alone.  Hence both sexes must be told "mind your own business" but in two different senses.

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