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Tag: humerous

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CH Spurgeon on Psalm 88: The mind can descend far lower than the body, for it there are bottomless pits... ...The flesh can bear only a certain number of wounds and no more, but the soul can bleed in ten thousand ways and die over and over again each hour... Under the influence of certain disorders everything will wear a sombre aspect and the heart will dive into the profoundest deeps of misery... It's all very well for those in robust health and full of spirits 2 blame those whose lives are sicklied over with the pale cast of melancholy... but the evil is as real as a gaping wound, and all the more hard to bear because it lies so much in the region of the soul... Reader, never ridicule the [depressed], their pain is real. Though much of the evil lies in the imagination, it is not imaginary."

Preacher: the Bible is not a reservoir to bring us back to, it's a river already flowing. Preaching is part of the Bible's dynamic movement.

Faith is never described in the Bible as a response to evidence per se. It's a response to the word /the gospel /preaching /Christ crucified

“God writes the Gospel not in the Bible alone, but also on trees, and in the flowers and clouds and stars.” Martin Luther

“Prayer is not overcoming God’s reluctance. It is laying hold of His willingness.” Luther

Israel was chosen in light of the Seed and for the sake of the nations. God's people are those who are "in Christ" and "for the world".

What is the Bible? The users manual? Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth? No. Most fundamentally it's the Spirit's testimony to the Son.

What is Bible reading? Your pious offering to God? No, His personal offering to you: "Behold my Son!"

"You are designed to be a burden to me and I... to you. [Our life] should be one of 'mutual burdensomeness.'" John Stott

What did you expect? This is the Lamb's world.

Some thoughts for preachers: "The preacher's movement does not consist so much in going towards the congregation as in coming from Christ."

"Preaching is `God's own Word', that is to say, through the activity of preaching, God himself speaks." (Barth, Prayer & Preaching)

[More Barth] Preaching is "announcement" more than "description" (P&P). This is because the Bible is already "proclamation in writing" (I/1

The purpose of Judgement Day is not to inject uncertainty into our future.
Judgement is God's way of securing our future from all evil.

"I will give my life" - the pig-sty'd prodigal.
"I will find my boy" - the running father.
One resolve intends slavery, the other: sonship

Eastbourne has many gleaming saints who've learnt the secret of contentment and many grumbling souls who have not. *Old age* does not mature

Athanasius (on Psalms): "He suffered for us and bore in Himself the wrath that was the penalty of our transgression." Early Church PSA.

How did Jesus go about "breathing on His disciples" in John 20:22? Dunno, but He's given us the Bible so He can keep doing it (2Tim3:16)

The Lamb unlocks the scroll.

The median date for the folios is 4 yrs b4 Muhammed received his revelations. The latest is 5 yrs b4 the Quran was supposedly written down. Imagine finding a copy of the sermon on the mount dating to Jesus' infancy. That's the problem 4 this 'oldest Quran' (LINK)

"Wherever you are, be all there." Jim Elliot. (I think it was Jim Elliot, I heard it on a podcast while doing admin).

"Be the place the violence ends". <- Francis Spufford's excellent summary of "turn the other cheek". We're through the worst of it. (Romans 13:12) Earth's heaven is heaven's hell. Heaven's heaven is earth's hell. Virtue signalling: the essence of Pharisaism (Matthew 6); the engine of social media. If you're struggling it's very likely that friends will "say the wrong thing". But it's also very likely that you will hear the wrong thing. "Now that I have washed your feet, you should wash mine"? No grace runs downhill. "God does not need your good works, but your neighbor does." Martin Luther Just had a Great chat w a Muslim using Jay Smith's conversation starter: "I think Jesus is God & the Bible is God's word do u have an opinion?" It's not just that God condescends to reveal Himself. Incredibly His condescension reveals *Himself* Whatever else is said about Pharaoh's hardening, understand that he is not a random individual but the head of the house of the wicked. The "exclusivity of Christ" is the good news that God is *none other* than the One who died for the world. What is ultimate reality? The one: monotone. The many: cacophony. The Three: harmony. Salvation is not a taxi, it's a free bus.You neither drive nor pay. You find yourself with others on the bumpy road to a sure destination. Trinity is not a problem to solve, it's the answer. It's a unitarian god who really makes no sense. How can an eternal monad ever break free from the prison of their own transcendence? The Bible doesn't tell us to *reach* Israel so much as to *be* Israel in reaching the world. Forgiveness does not abolish the need for good behaviour. Forgiveness assumes those ethical expectations and then establishes them truly

Just used the self-checkout or "mirror" as I call it

Babies smell incredibly good considering they spend their days marinating in urine.

Well done England. You have won the Worst Ashes Ever.

Well done bowlers. You've thrashed the batsmen 5-0 in this #Ashes #bbccricket

Well done Australia - you outgunned England with both bat and ball - AUS: 2565/80 versus ENG: 2365/81

This hasn't been a great game for the neutrals #ENGvSWI

At the Chick Pea Speedway, we get pulses racing.

Try my inflatable crystal ball. It's clearbuoyant

I hated being School Superintendant. I should have quit while I was a head

Don’t be taken in by conspiracy theories. They're all just government plots to discredit their enemies.

I’m allergic to placebos but thankfully my doctor says she’s got just the sugar pill to cure me.

My therapist just doesn't get my underlying motivation. Shame

I invited Usain Bolt to play the lead in my Robert Louis Stevenson play. Unfortunately he can run but he can't Hyde

[Smiling actor turns to camera]
"Here at Spines For You..."
[Extreme close up}
"... We've got your back."
[BAFTAS all round]

I'm sorry I called you emotionally stunted. No hard feelings?

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