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One of Emma's finest angry comic confessionals...

The reality looks more like this.  A gradual, painful retreat,  from friends, loved ones and perhaps from your own growing sense that this is getting out of control. You see, that eating disorder doesn’t want to share.  She wants all of you.

Read the whole thing

What does it take to truly know your spouse?  I mean really.  Deep down.  In  those secret places.  How can you explore the complicated splendour of your soul-mate?

Beloved, I have one piece of advice.

Get her to write a blog.  Then.  Read her blog.  And marvel.

For instance.... Here Emma reveals her inner monologue when I (all too rarely) suggest we read the bible together:

Think I need to learn some Scripture lessons, do we? Well MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE MARRIED YOUR SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER. (Yes I teach Sunday school but that's entirely beside the point).

I knew it!  Now I have the proof.

Go and confess your own "I'm not going to read the bible and you can't make me" secrets here.

5

Emma blogs about the dilemmas involved in force-feeding an anorexic.

A rights-based culture finds these issues almost impossible.  Can we really violate a person's sovereign sphere and force them to eat against their own free will!?

It made me think of John Stuart Mill's account of freedom in On Liberty:

In the part [of the conduct of an individual] which merely concerns himself, his independence is, of course, of right, absolute.  Over himself, over his own body and mind, the individual is sovereign.

How on earth could Mill ever get a girl to eat?  In fact his words sound exactly like the motto of a pro-ana website!

And people wonder why anorexia is such a western phenomenon!

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I think my wife manages to get most real when she gets most surreal.

From her latest post (on the new blog!)

Perhaps it's human nature to feel that our neighbour's grass is greener and more carefully maintained. Singles imagine that all couples are locked in some kind of rom-com loop, playfully nibbling each other's toes and whispering phrases like, 'you complete me' or 'no, no - you're the wind beneath my wings'. Meanwhile the objects of such envy may spend Saturday evening wedged together with Jeremy Clarkson, dreaming of the freedom enjoyed by those without marital shackles.

Or here's another possibility. For those struggling to have children, the absence of such blessings can cast a shadow over every aspect of daily life. Everyone else seems to be effortlessly and carelessly reproducing, thrusting their progeny forward at every opportunity. Yet for parents, the reality can include permanent exhaustion or the feeling that they're just not good enough compared to the other Alpha-mums. Perhaps a wistful yearning for the old romance that's been supplanted by Horlicks and an early night -  in separate bedrooms.

We might think that the Problem of Other People can be solved by cutting them out of our lives.  But the opposite is true.  By avoiding others we intensify our struggles and become isolated from the community and support that can bring real comfort.  Instead, if we're prepared to get real with each other, such relationships can bring healing and understanding. The single person starts to pray for the couple who are struggling in their marriage. It's still a battle to wait on the Lord, but this is tempered with a new patience and realism about the nature of such relationships. By including those without families, parents may gain a new appreciation for their children - they are also freed up to enjoy more time together and to model to their kids the importance of friendship and caring for others.

I think my wife manages to get most real when she gets most surreal.

From her latest post (on the new blog!)

Perhaps it's human nature to feel that our neighbour's grass is greener and more carefully maintained. Singles imagine that all couples are locked in some kind of rom-com loop, playfully nibbling each other's toes and whispering phrases like, 'you complete me' or 'no, no - you're the wind beneath my wings'. Meanwhile the objects of such envy may spend Saturday evening wedged together with Jeremy Clarkson, dreaming of the freedom enjoyed by those without marital shackles.

Or here's another possibility. For those struggling to have children, the absence of such blessings can cast a shadow over every aspect of daily life. Everyone else seems to be effortlessly and carelessly reproducing, thrusting their progeny forward at every opportunity. Yet for parents, the reality can include permanent exhaustion or the feeling that they're just not good enough compared to the other Alpha-mums. Perhaps a wistful yearning for the old romance that's been supplanted by Horlicks and an early night -  in separate bedrooms.

We might think that the Problem of Other People can be solved by cutting them out of our lives.  But the opposite is true.  By avoiding others we intensify our struggles and become isolated from the community and support that can bring real comfort.  Instead, if we're prepared to get real with each other, such relationships can bring healing and understanding. The single person starts to pray for the couple who are struggling in their marriage. It's still a battle to wait on the Lord, but this is tempered with a new patience and realism about the nature of such relationships. By including those without families, parents may gain a new appreciation for their children - they are also freed up to enjoy more time together and to model to their kids the importance of friendship and caring for others.

From Emma's Blog:

Just before my hubby and I got married, we met up for dinner with a vicar friend of ours, what's known in the trade as a 'wise old chief'. He's just finished saying grace when, mid-fork, he grabbed Glen and I by the wrist and eyeballed us in a steely glare.

'Emma', he barked. 'Respect your husband. Praise him'

He turned to Glen and continued,
'Glen - love your wife. Never, never, never put her down'.

And with that, his eyebrows relaxed and he dropped our now limp wrists. 'Pass the salt'...

Read the whole thing here.


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