Epic Twitter Battles: Round 1

kerihw: I have glasses now. pic.twitter.com/8j2Dm7iUGk

 

GlennyRodge: You look racist. x

 

kerihw: And you continue to look like a tramp warming himself around a fire he's started in a bin x.

 

GlennyRodge: Collector of fridge magnets.

 

kerihw: Teaspoon non-rinser.

 

GlennyRodge: 'Pacific' when you mean 'specific' sayer.

 

kerihw: YOU HAVE FLORAL WALLPAPER.

 

GlennyRodge: Top Gear watcher.

 

kerihw: You walk past Big Issue sellers and pat your pockets like you have no change and do a face.

 

GlennyRodge: You put the children's sides up at the bowling alley but still only score 83.

 

kerihw: Medium peri-peri sauce at Nandos user.

 

GlennyRodge: "Not three bad, thanks" sayer.

 

kerihw: YOU CALL THEM JIM-JAMS.

 

GlennyRodge: Jammies actually. No, wait. You phone up polls they have on the telly and vote 'don't know'. All the time.

 

kerihw: Dave Ja Vu watcher.

 

GlennyRodge: Only male in the Barry Manilow fan club.

 

kerihw: Extended warranty purchaser.

 

GlennyRodge: You always have the right change.

 

kerihw: You prefer shredless.

 

GlennyRodge: Ross is your favourite Friends character.

 

kerihw: You still don't understand what happened at the end of Usual Suspects.

 

GlennyRodge: You wee into the middle of the pan so everyone can hear you.

 

kerihw: None of your porcelain cats are part of a pair.

 

GlennyRodge: You don't like the yellow blanket because "it's a bit too scratchy".

 

kerihw: You think margarine is goose butter.

 

GlennyRodge: When handed the box of chocolates, you spend 15 minutes choosing, for crying out loud.

 

kerihw: You don't understand buttons.

 

GlennyRodge: Sleeper

 

kerihw: Wealdstone fan.

 

GlennyRodge: 'There's nowt as queer as folk' sayer.

 

kerihw: You keep eggs in the fridge.

 

GlennyRodge: When playing board games, everyone has to wait for you to read the rules, no matter how many times you've played the game before.

 

kerihw: You hail buses you have no intention of boarding.

 

GlennyRodge: Only person under 70 that says "strewth".

 

kerihw: You don't put dvds back in the right case.

 

GlennyRodge: You consistently confuse Portsmouth with Plymouth.

 

kerihw: You watch Channel 5 news.

 

GlennyRodge: You refuse to play monopoly unless you're the dog.

 

kerihw: On Streetfighter II, you would voluntarily be Guile.

 

GlennyRodge: You include David Niven in a list of James Bonds.

 

kerihw: You get confused between AAA and AA batteries.

 

GlennyRodge: You use a steering wheel lock even though you have a car alarm because "you can't put a price on piece of mind".

 

kerihw: You spoil everyone's fun on bouncy castles by bombing.

 

GlennyRodge: You keep calling yourself The Kezmeister in a vain attempt that it'll catch on.

 

kerihw: You just save all your files on your desktop.

 

GlennyRodge: You're only truly happy when you're doing your puzzles.

 

kerihw: When you sing "We Didn't Start The Fire" in the shower you can only remember as far as "Children of thalidomide".

 

GlennyRodge: Every Christmas you insist on showing younger bemused relatives your Frank Spencer impression.

 

kerihw: You wear running shoes to do cross-training.

 

GlennyRodge: Unnecessarily loud sneezer.

 

....

 

GlennyRodge:  @TheBathBird @kerihw I'm a little sorry that he's now cowering in the trounced corner. It was good fun.

 

kerihw: Yeah, cowering. LIKE A FOX. Lynx wearer.

 

GlennyRodge:  YOU CRIED WHEN DEL AND RODNEY BECAME MILLIONAIRES.

 

Continued here...